It occurs to me that the only times I get to think properly are when I’m out walking or in the last few minutes before I go to sleep. The rest of the time, whether I’m at work or at home, there is too much noise, too much stress, too many problems caused by other people that I have to fix for them, there is just TOO much going on for me to even get a grip on ME, on who I am. Its probably not such a bad thing. In those rare moments when I DO catch myself listening to what’s going on in my head, I become increasingly convinced I’m turning into a fucking psycho. It feels like my body is hollow and my soul, if I ever had one, has long since gone. It’s like any day now, something is going to happen that will send me over the edge. I’ve been to the brink a few times, but have always managed to pull myself back. I can’t see that happening again. I’m too far gone already.
andynonymous1's Blog 